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First case….
I just got addicted again to video game… Again…. I got insomnia and always miss morning class… It "sucks" my money… Video Games can be fun, but can be seriously fatal if one can’t handle the excitement… I’m broke (- .-)
Second case …
Just see my first ex pic this morning in one of my friend’s Friendster picture profile… She just got more beautiful…. Her shadows always haunted me in these four years… And got worse lately…. And this morning I see her pic…. I don’t know what kind of dream I’ll have tonight… Probably a nightmare… It’s just … An old pain memories… But somewhat nice and always memorable….
I don’t how she is doing in this last 2 years… The oath that I will not contact her again is binding me… I thought I will be able to forget her… I thought I’m a man, should not be sissy and will be able to move forward…. But… I was stopped… wondering in the past… Stupidly…. I believe she already move forward.. Idiot me… But I still want to strive… I want to forget her at all cost… Even it’s mean I got amnesia….
I hate myself coz of this… I hardly date a girl… I’m afraid it will be like the last time… It’s just a run away… Her shadows haunted me… Maybe I’m just a sick bastard because of this… I never mean to hurt someone else with my "run away from reality"… So now I strive alone… Never want to date in this 2 years… It’s been 4 years since we broke up… 2 years run away… 2 years become a lone wolf…
I believe it’s my own self who can help myself… Friends and best friends already gives some advice for me… But it’s futile…. It’s just a common advice, and most of the point is the same… I always be like this on this 4 years until now (make it 4 and half years).. Stupid me… I hate this side of me… I wish I got amnesia… Really I do…. Sucks!!! I just can’t cross what I’m saying… I can’t broke the oath I made to myself… I must not not seeing her…
